Trevor Abes: Writer

Tag: love poetry

Plunge

The people you happen to love only return it in kind if you’re lucky 

It takes a lot of effort to commit to getting that carried away

 

A willingness to face the terror of saying hello

And them saying it back

And engaging the reckoning you seek

Somewhere deep inside there beyond awareness

 

The infinite vulnerability of talk

That’s only small because it carries within

The promise of intention

Of future formation

The kind of story you have to gauge

By how far it lives off the ground

Lest you have to shrink each other 

In your minds to who you were 

The second before whoever

Decided to bail and move

In a different direction

 

All of it hinging on discretion

Your economy of language

Practiced poverty at hiding and deciding

Oblivious to new constituents

In your version of the good life

 

—Liked what you read? Grab a book.

First Thanksgiving, a poem from The Breakup Suite

Here I am reading “First Thanksgiving”, a poem off of The Breakup Suite. 

Print copies available through Amazon.

PDF copies available through me.

Slightly Less Terrible

Digging without treasure doesn’t make sense

There is no moment between yesterday and today

It just keeps going

When I said I hated the incense

And you still let me smoke a cigarette inside because it was cold

I didn’t have the lenses to intuit the presence of preciousness 

When you quit drinking and neglected to call me for a month

And I didn’t give you any shit about it

You mistook my devotion for a sign of low self-esteem

Despite the park sunburns, laundromat ruminations

Elaborate budget-salad meal prep

And diminishing shame for the buoyancy 

Of Burgundy and brie on brioche afternoons

The universe still failed to smarten up to us

To how we stood against going TV test-patterned 

Late at night to clean ourselves of the gunk of the day

Because it gave us something to control and accumulate

When $11.25 an hour felt like a blessing

Even though it made us unfathomable in our critical awareness

As if we were owed interest on our anguish

When that’s just not how fixed income works

Little Warm Glow

I don’t want to ask you for anything

I just want to sit here and think about your pouty face

When rain ruined our walks

How you’d nuzzle into my chest and urge

That we go back home in a faux-apocalyptic tone

Let me just keep that image in suspension for a second

And not feel like I need you to be in love with me

To appreciate it for what it was

A delightful 45 minutes in the middle of a Saturday

With someone I used to be partners with

Our lives intertwined like a money tree

Like our cat’s hair and every surface in our apartment

As if life’s knack for cutting you down to size

Was no match against our willingness to talk

Problems into submission

 

For the Best

I asked you for regular alone time after our time

My anxiety needed it to properly relax after work

 

I didn’t have the foresight to factor in how that meant 

We’d have less nights to lose track of time together

 

I was thinking about what I needed to feel rested

I wasn’t worried about you no longer making room for my loner self

About each of us winding down the night alone

Birthing a little emptiness in you, slowly spreading

 

I mistook you not mentioning it for contentment

You may have wanted me to seek you out more on my own

 

I’m sorry we weren’t more careful about solitude and socializing 

Our opposing energy sources

 

How I’d ask you more if I could make you happier 

If I had the chance

 

Which would have probably led us to break up sooner

Knowing I can’t rewire myself to share you and be happy

It would have been for the best

An Introvert’s Guide to Falling in Love With an Extrovert

Be ready to let them go. 

While you’re OK with them being your whole world, their happiness is based on exploration.

Remember, they’ll be at their most defensive when they feel trapped while you’re too blissed out on having nailed down a commitment for forever to notice that you’re likely to confuse it with a guarantee and rarely revisit to refortify.

Pay attention to that feeling of dread you get about having to be social for an extended period of time. Now think about them feeling your absence each time you’re not at an outing exploring with them. Internalize the compromise implied here. To stay together, you will have to be uncomfortable for them a lot of the time.

You will have to be that dashing romantic Casanova person more often than you think you need to. Giving each other space is all well and good, but you need to let your person know what they mean to you in more spontaneous ways. 

Palm the small of their back and gently pull them into you when you get home, even though your slushy boots are messing up the foyer floor. 

Touch and profess without formality, breath in their ear, peck on the neck. Let them feel you instead of merely knowing you are there. Make unexpected plans, 

But don’t neglect the need for a backup, a support network that is wide enough for them not to fall into the illusion that they’re almost exclusively responsible for your sanity.

Regularly imagine ways your lives can truly resemble interlaced fingers knowing they get their energy from other people while you get yours from being alone.

August 6th: The Love Poetry Festival

I’ll be reading poems August 6th on Toronto’s Centre Island with some poets I really admire.

LovePoetry-8.5x11

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